I haven’t posted anything the last few days because I haven’t felt up to even doing that. I’ve just been so miserable lately, for no reason at all. Times like these, my psychologist reminds me, are due to the neurochemical aspect of my mental illness.
So here I am, in the pit of despair, to the point of even wondering what is keeping me going.
I see my psychologist today. I’m actually looking forward to it. I need someone to talk to right about now.
I feel like I’m hanging on to the edge of a steep cliff. Let go, and wham! I’ll hit the bottom hard, and I probably won’t survive the fall. But my grip on the edge is holding. I’m not letting go. Even if I feel the strain of hanging on, even if my fingers are starting to go numb and white, I’m not letting go. I’ve worked too hard to throw it all away.