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My Dilemma

So I’m caught in a fierce dilemma, and a pretty important one, because it deals with what I want to do for the rest of my life. For a few years now I’ve been caught between wanting to go into computer science and wanting to go into psychology. I eventually chose psychology, and that is the path that I have taken so far. For a while I was content with my decision, but now the dilemma is flaring back up again.

It started, I think, when I had some free time a few days ago and decided to do some more work on my hobby, a conversation-simulating artificial intelligence program that I intend to enter into a contest when finished. I had just figured out the solution to a problem I was having with Dave (the name that I gave to the program) and was writing the code when it really hit me: I enjoy this. I enjoy figuring out solutions to problems and then coding them.

But it’s a little deeper than that, really. Two aspects of technology have always captivated me: computers and space travel. Computers (and space travel technology) are a testament to what we are capable of, and how we continue to improve. And not to sound like the Borg, but machines are, in my opinion, the closest we can get to perfection–organic life is so messy and uncertain, but machines are precise and ageless.

And yet the mind is so fascinating–who wouldn’t want to study it?

I thought that today might give me some answers with regard to my dilemma. Today, I volunteered at a psychosocial rehabilitation center, a place where former long-term mental patients can learn valuable skills for integrating into society and a safe place for them in general. I figured that if I went there, and didn’t like it, then my dilemma was over–I’d just switch my major to computer science and be done.

But that didn’t happen. I went there and enjoyed being a part of it. And now I’m still stuck with my problem: do I want to continue in psychology, or do I want to go into computer science? I’m considering minoring in computer science, but I’m not sure what good that will do. I mean, what can you do with a psychology degree  and a computer science degree? Not much, probably.

I guess I just need to make up my mind.

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About The Mental Chronicles

I am an otherwise "normal" person who suffers from psychotic depression. This blog is about me, things I like, and my struggle with mental illness.

5 responses to “My Dilemma

  1. http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2012-03/22/vint-cerf-qa

    I’ve no doubt a combination like that might seem unusual to some people. To others, it’s a perfect mix. I posted you that link because I read the interview earlier and thought you might like it.

  2. Thank you for the comment. And for the link, that really was very interesting. I feel very lucky to live in this era, for all its flaws. We get to see the coolest things come about when it comes to technology, and we can theorize on what we haven’t yet created.

  3. Sandy Sue

    I agree. To have both a computer science and psychology background seems like a wonderful mix. I see you finding or creating your own niche. Remember, Resistance is Futile.

    • I’ve realized since writing this post that both degrees may have a joint application in things like the Blue Brain Project–whole-brain emulation, which (if successful) will allow us a better understanding of how the brain works than we have ever had. Plus, there’s the little possible side effect of creating a true AI. Now, wouldn’t that be awesome.

  4. It’s very weird for me reading this as I was an almost identical situation. I find it funny how during my time struggling with this I felt very much alone, yet here you are struggling with the very same issues.

    In my case I explored both options thoroughly but came to a conclusion that was outside both choices. Needless to say if you are anything like me it’s not a delema that ever really goes away. Although maybe you’ll find your answer.

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