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Escaping Reality

I’m fairly certain that I sleep way more than the average person (and certainly more than the average person my age, who likely gets five hours of sleep at a rare maximum and who ingests more coffee than is likely healthy.) It’s true though; I sleep a lot. Not only do I strive to get a full night’s rest when I can avoid those sleepless nights of essay-writing and other homework, but I frequently take naps when I am home.

I’m not sure how much of my unflagging ability to sleep is due to depression, or medication, or some combination thereof, but one thing is certain: as much sleep as I get, I am still constantly tired and lack energy. It’s frustrating.

The one thing sleep does for me is allow me to escape reality, without succumbing to the aid of illegal psychoactives. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I take a short nap. If I’m feeling incredibly and painfully depressed, I take a short nap. And all my pain (and self-awareness, for that matter) dissipates into a numb dream-state. It’s no certain treatment by any means, but sometimes I do wake up in a better state of mind, more prepared to take on my life. I sort of remind myself of the protagonist of the classic novel, All the King’s Men. Like Jack Burden, I sometimes sleep to escape my problems. Of course, Burden takes it to unacceptable lengths; he takes naps to avoid his wife for years instead doing something final, like a divorce.

Anyway, sleep is my drug, beneficial or not.

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About The Mental Chronicles

I am an otherwise "normal" person who suffers from psychotic depression. This blog is about me, things I like, and my struggle with mental illness.

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